


Kuzco's Newest Groove

by DwaejiTokki



Category: Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Journey, Medicine, daddy!Kuzco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 14:26:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10439658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DwaejiTokki/pseuds/DwaejiTokki
Summary: After finally taking a wife, Kuzco gets a child, an heir to his throne, and joins Pacha in fatherhood. But when his baby falls ill, Kuzco must go on a quest to retrieve the materials needed to make a cure. Pacha and Kronk join him, and they run into all sorts of trouble along the way. Will they get back in time to save the baby?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another cross post from FF.net

Long ago, somewhere deep in the jungle...once again. 

Okay, I know what you're thinking. Yeah, you don't think I do, but I do. Because I was thinking it, too. How many more people need New Groove stories? Come on, people! Pull yourselves together!...But that's not what this is about. It's about me again, hurray! Me, Emperor Kuzco. That's right, I'm still emperor. Yzma can't get her hands on the throne. She would ruin the kingdom again. And that's not cool. I mean, look at her...How long has that gunk been in her eye...? UGH! 

Ahem. 

Anyway, this story is really important. Because not only is it about me (ha!), it's about me, my beautiful wife, and--wait for it--my BABY! Yeah, that's right. Emperor Kuzco's a daddy now. Weren't expecting that, now were you?  

Well, okay. He's not born yet, but he's being born. Listen to that. Hear that horrible screeching? That's my wife giving birth! Isn't it beautiful? I'm sorry, can I just have a minute? Where are my tissues--oh, there they are. Ahem.  

As I was saying. It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the llamas are...grazing, I guess? I guess now would be a good time to uh, check on my beautiful wife, Malina.  

* * *

 

Kuzco burst into the room, throwing the curtains out of his path. "Is it here yet?" he asked, unable to contain his excitement. 

His only reply was a pterodactyl-like screech from Malina. 

"Almost there, your highness," said one of the midwives. She peered between the empress's legs, soft blanket at the ready. "The baby is crowning. Push!" 

Another midwife dabbed the sweat from Malina's forehead. Her face was red and puffy, tears streaming down her cheeks. "AAAH!" 

Kuzco suddenly appeared at her side, looking at her with naïve expectance. He shook his fists excitedly. "Come on, Malina, you heard the woman. Push!"  

If looks could kill, Kuzco would have been struck dead on the spot. 

"One more push, your highness," said the midwife between the legs.  

With a mighty lioness roar, Malina pushed once more, and then fell limp to the bed, panting hard. A strangled cry rang throughout the room, and the midwife wrapped up the squirmy, bloody newborn and began to clean it.  

"Good job, Malina," Kuzco cried, pouting his lips at her proudly. "Who's a good mommy?" 

"Shut it," she hissed, eyes glazed over from her ordeal. 

Kuzco left her and went to his child. "Well, how is it? What is it?" 

"It's a boy," said the midwife. She held the baby up to show him. 

Kuzco recoiled in disgust. "What's wrong with it?" he demanded. 

The midwife seemed surprised, and Malina sat up with a fearful expression for her baby. 

"It's all..." Kuzco gestured to it vaguely. "Uh, red and hairy and gooey." 

"He's supposed to be like that," Malina said. "He's just been born. Now just take him and name him like a good father."  

Kuzco shuddered at the thought, but gingerly took the baby in his arms. The midwives stepped into the background respectfully. As he looked down at the little face, the baby with tufts of soft black hair opened his eyes and looked up at his father with deep, intelligent blue eyes. Kuzco's heart melted. 

"Iniabi," he said. "Your name is Iniabi." 

Malina smiled. "That's a good name." 

"Of course it is," Kuzco replied without taking his eyes off of his son. "Anything daddy says is good. Daddy's the emperor, uh huh, that's right." 

Iniabi cooed delightfully in Kuzco's arms. 

* * *

 

Aw, would you look at that. I'm a daddy now! Ha ha, what did I tell you? He's so beautiful, he'll grow up to be just like me...Ahem. 

Sorry for interrupting, I just wanted to make sure you knew that this is my baby. And how beautiful we are. Except Malina, she kind of needs a bath, heheh. Uh, moving on. 

Page Break 

"You'll make a great father, Kuzco," Malina said, putting a hand on my shoulder. 

"Yes, I know," Kuzco replied, nodding his head. Iniabi yawned and squirmed in his swaddling. "Aw, look at that," he crooned. "He's tired." 

Iniabi smacked his lips quietly, looking sleepily at his father's face. Then he suddenly burst into tears, wailing loudly. Kuzco gave a small shriek of surprise and pushed the baby to his wife. Malina quickly lifted her shirt and pushed the child to her breast, where he immediately quieted and latched onto her nipple. 

Kuzco sighed in relief. "Whew. I thought he was dying for a moment." 

Thunder and lightning crashed outside the window, and a silhouetted figure appeared in the doorway with a scythe. Kuzco shrieked. 

"Ahem," said the reedy-voiced messenger as he stepped into the light. His bored looking bird squawked on its perch on his long wooden staff. "Message for the emperor," he said. 

"Oh," Kuzco sighed. "Yes, I'm the emperor, that's me," he said, standing regally. 

"One Pacha from the house on top of the hill cordially invites you to dinner tomorrow night," the messenger said. 

"Ooh, dinner with Pacha and his family," Kuzco enthused, looking to Malina. "Can we go? Can we? I want to show off my--I mean, our--new baby." 

Malina sighed. "I suppose we can. But I want to take a guard with us, and a coach. I'm not walking." 

Kuzco grinned at the messenger. "Tell Pacha we accept." 

"Yes, your highness," the messenger sighed, turning and trudging back out the way he came.  

"Pacha's going to be so jealous!" Kuzco whispered, leaning over Malina's shoulder to look at his son. Malina frowned at him, but then rolled her eyes. Kuzco would be Kuzco. 

* * *

 

Okay, I know what you're all thinking again. Oh, that baby is so cute, I'm so jealous but it's Emperor Kuzco's baby and I can't touch him, I'm so sad. Yes, I know. But let's get past all of that because I must tell you something very important. 

You know how I told that messenger that I was going to make it to Pacha's dinner tomorrow? Yeah? WELL WAKE UP, PEOPLE! I didn't make it tomorrow, you know why? Because something awful happened! I'd tell you about it, but you probably wouldn't believe me. So watch closely!...Are you watching? Okay. 

* * *

 

"Malina?" Kuzco sang as he fabulously entered her bedchambers. "Are you ready to go? We've got a long drive ahead of us today...Malina?" 

"Kuzco," she said tiredly, looking at him from her place on the bed. Dark circles hung under her eyes, and she was attended by several maids.  

"Hey," Kuzco smiled. "Why aren't you ready to go? Where's Iniabi?" 

"Kuzco," she started again, looking morose. "We're not going to make it. Iniabi and I are too sick." She coughed weakly.  

Kuzco's face immediately fell. "Wh--What?" he asked. He ran to her side and put a hand on her burning face. "What's wrong, Malina?" 

"You should go on," Malina said. "Leave Iniabi and me. We won't make it there." 

The emperor's eyes traveled to the midwife across the room when he heard a tiny cry followed by terrible coughing. Iniabi was held in the woman's arms as she tried to get him to suckle at a rag soaked with medicine. She caught his eye and then shook her head sadly as Iniabi squirmed miserably. 

"Go to Pacha's, Kuzco," Malina said, patting Kuzco's hand. "Go to him. He'll know what to do." 

Kuzco swallowed hard and looked at her, then nodded firmly. With his chin thrust out and fists at his side, he turned and left the palace to Pacha's house on the hill. He needed all the help he could get to save his wife and child. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Pacha!" Kuzco cried, pounding on the door. "Pacha, open up!" 

The door was pulled open, and Kuzco practically fell inside, and was caught by Pacha's wide girth. "Kuzco? What's wrong?" he asked, looking both surprised and concerned.  

"What's wrong," the emperor said, putting his hands on his head, "is that Malina and Iniabi are sick!" 

"Sick?" Pacha repeated. "Wh--Wait, who's Iniabi?" 

"My son," Kuzco said, suddenly assuming a proud and smirking expression. "He was just born yesterday, and he's almost as beautiful as me---and he's sick!" he gasped as though just remembering. He swooned on his feet, and Pacha caught him. 

By this time the rest of Pacha's family had been drawn by the commotion.  

"What's going on?" asked Chicha, seeing at Kuzco's dazed and exhausted eyes. 

"Kids, why don't you go on and play?" Pacha suggested.  

Chaca, Tipo, and Yupi all groaned in disappointment, but recognized that their adopted uncle was in bad shape. They all scurried off down the hill to find the other children in the village, Chaca scooping up the toddling Yupi.  

"Help me get him inside," Pacha grunted, and Chicha grabbed Kuzco's free arm. He moaned woozily as he was deposited gently on a kitchen chair.  

"Kuzco," Pacha said, shaking him gently to rouse him. "Tell me what happened."  

"Well," Kuzco said, sitting up and looking hysterical. "Malina, my wife, the empress, the most beautiful woman in--"  

"Kuzco!" 

"Huh? Oh, uh, well Malina gave birth yesterday. His name is Iniabi, and he's beautiful. But they're not going to make it," Kuzco said numbly. 

"What?!" Pacha and Chicha gasped.  

"Oh, honey," Chicha said, putting a hand on the young man's shoulder.  

Pacha looked close to tears. "Isn't there anything you can do?" he asked. "Medicine?" 

Kuzco shrugged. "I don't really know. So, I was thinking, until they...leave, that I could stay in Kuzcotopia next door." 

"What?" Pacha said. "You can't! You, you have to go back and, and spend time with them! They need you, Kuzco!" 

He turned his head sadly. "I can't just sit and watch them suffer, Pacha." 

The couple exchanged a look over the emperor's head.  

Then Chicha lifted Kuzco's chin so that he looked her in the eyes. "Tell you what," she said gently. "You and Pacha go down to the village healer and ask about what can be done. Just tell her the symptoms Malina and Iniabi have, and she should be able to brew up a little something, okay?" 

"Really?" Kuzco brightened a little. 

She nodded and then turned to Pacha, who also nodded. 

"Okay," he said, standing and clapping his hands. "Better get a move on then, huh?" 

The emperor stood as well, smiling a little. "Let's go!" 

The village healer was a very old woman who lived at the center of the hill. Her house was very small, and an ever present line of smoke drifted from a hole in the ceiling. She never came out, so no one except her visitors really knew what she looked like, and even then it was usually dark inside. It smelled strongly of herbs and bread, but Kuzco seemed to not care at the moment, which only went to show how dire his situation was. 

"Healer peasant!" he cried upon entry. 

Pacha entered after him with an apologetic expression. "He didn't mean that, Iakona. He's just really very distraught." 

The ancient woman, without opening her eyes, bid them sit with her.  

Kuzco jumped directly into his plight. "My wife and baby are sick, so we need you to make a cure quickly! Immediately! Right now!" When she didn't react he quickly added, "Please." 

"What sickness?" her cracked voice asked. 

"Well, they're both very pale and weak, and they're coughing," Kuzco said. "You can fix that, right?" 

"I'll need more than that, young emperor." 

"Sweaty," he offered. 

"And?" 

Kuzco balked under her gaze. She had piercing, unnatural blue eyes. "It sounds to me that their sickness is not so severe as you think, young man." 

"They're going to die!" he exclaimed almost angrily. 

For a long moment Iakona looked at Kuzco. Both he and Pacha shifted uncomfortably. Then the old woman sighed. "I suppose I can help," she said at last. 

Kuzco and Pacha breathed deeply. 

"Thank you," Kuzco said. "Can you make the cure now?" 

"No." 

The men's faces fell.  

She continued, "I do not have the herbs I need to make the medicine. If you want the cure, you must go out and get them for me." 

The emperor leapt to his feet. "Where are they?" 

"Deep in the jungle," she replied. "The only place they grow." 

Kuzco frowned. "I will get them, but you have to tell me an exact location, and I want you to meet me at the palace. That way we can save time." 

"You'd best move quickly, then," Iakona replied nonchalantly. "Here is a map I made long ago. The paracress plants should still grow here. This," she held up a drawing on another sheet of paper, "is what it looks like. Bring me this, and then I can make the cure." 

Kuzco took both and nodded seriously.  

"Okay," he said as he stepped out into the sunlight, followed by Pacha. "We're here, so I have to follow this path to...here." He slapped the old parchment with his finger and then rolled it up. "See you later, pal. I've got a serious errand to run."  

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Pacha said, putting himself in front of the young man. "You can't just leave unprepared like that! When's the last time you've eaten, anyway?" 

"Yesterday," Kuzco replied promptly. "But it's not important since I'm not hungry. Move out of the way, I've got to go get this paracress thingy." 

"Kuzco, listen," Pacha said, holding up his hands. "You don't want to go out there alone and with nothing but the clothes on your back. Come back to my place, and we'll pack some things." 

"Uh, we?" Kuzco raised an eyebrow. "Last I checked, this was my problem, not yours." 

It was Pacha's turn to raise an eyebrow. "You're the one who came to me." 

"You're the one who invited me." 

"Well, now I'm inviting you again. Come to my house on the hill, and we can eat and get ready to leave." 

"Well, now I'm politely declining your offer," Kuzco said. Before Pacha could reply, Kuzco held up a hand for silence. "Listen, Pacha, I'd love to stand here and talk all day, but my wife and baby need me. So...later." Kuzco set off again without looking back, tucking the map and drawing into his belt. 

"Hey, Kuzco!" called a jovial voice. 

The emperor stopped in his tracks and looked to see Kronk and his wife headed in his direction.  

* * *

 

Uh, just for clarification. There are those of you who might not have seen Kronk's New Groove (which yours truly directed), but long story short, Kronk went on a camping trip with his squirrel scouts and had a hate slash love relationship with a rival troop leader named Birdwell and in the end they got married and had a happily ever after, annnnd back to me! 

* * *

 

"I didn't know you were coming for a visit," Kronk laughed. He and Birdwell hoisted their delivery bags on their shoulders. "Last I heard your wife was, uh, in labor. I figured you'd, uh, be by her." He shrugged. 

"Oh, Kronky-poo," cooed Birdwell lovingly, "you have such a way with words." 

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Guess I do." 

"Hey, Kronk," Kuzco greeted unenthusiastically. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have something important to do." 

"Oh, you mean like get back to your wife, who's in labor, having your child," Kronk said, winking at him. "Right." 

"No," Pacha interrupted. "Kuzco's wife and baby are sick, and he's about to go out alone into the jungle for a rare medicinal herb that will make the cure." 

Kronk and Birdwell gasped in horror. 

"Sick?" Birdwell repeated. 

"Alone?" Kronk asked. 

Kuzco took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, but instead of retorting sarcastically as he normally would, he simply walked on, leaving his friends behind.  


	3. Chapter 3

"Let's see," Kuzco muttered under his breath. He pulled out the map and looked around. "Where am I again?" 

Jungle noises surrounded him: bird calls, rusting leaves, animals screaming, insects buzzing. The air even seemed to have a strange greenish tint to it, as the sun filtered through the leaves far above him. In the jungle, dark fell much faster, giving the surroundings a creepy feel. But Kuzco already knew all this, and he had spent long days trekking through it a few years before. He didn't have time to dwell on it. 

"She couldn't have made a better map?" he growled under his br?" he growled under his breath as he scrutinized it. The paths were marked in blue ink, but there was no indicatives of where the paths began or ended as he could see. 

"Let me see that," a hand reached around his shoulder and snatched it away. 

Kuzco gasped and whipped around. "Pacha?" 

Pacha looked at him with both eyebrows raised, then tossed a shoulder pack at him. "Food, water, and other supplies you might need." He adjusted his own bag and straightened the parchment in his hands before observing it. 

Kuzco looked down at the bag his friend had given. "Pacha, what are you--" 

"Sorry I'm late," said a familiar voice as another bulky figure appeared. "Birdwell and I, uh, had to say goodbye. And then I had to make a quick trip to my house on the hill and pack this bag. I made extra sure I brought everything I need." On his back was a towering bag that must have contained everything he owned. 

"Uh, Kronk?" Kuzco frowned. "Why are you here?" 

"Well, I heard about your family troubles and I thought, what better way to serve your country than helping the emperor himself?" Kronk said with his trademark smile. "I brought spinach puffs." 

"Uh-huh," Kuzco uttered. "Listen, I'm doing just fine on my own. You two have your own things to deal with, and I've got mine, so--" 

"We're your friends," Pacha butted in. "We stick together to the end." 

The young emperor's eyes suddenly filled with emotion. Then he cleared his throat and adopted his regal posture, hands behind his back. "Well, are we going or not? No time to lose." 

"This way," Pacha said, moving forward. 

* * *

 

Yes, Pacha and Kronk, my wonderful friends, people. But let's not forget what this story is really about: me, and my family. Not Pacha and Kronk. Me, and my family. Not Pacha or Kronk. Me, Malina, and Iniabi. Got it? Okay. 

* * *

 

The three men set out into the jungle, following the well-trodden path before them.  

"We've got a long journey ahead of us," Pacha said. 

"Exactly, so let's move," Kuzco said, taking a few longer strides to lead the group.  

"After you, your highness," Kronk smirked.  

After a long while of walking, Pacha pointed out the turn into the jungle they needed to take. The path was overgrown with wild ferns and flowers, but Kuzco marched over them with a purpose. Soon, however, the path altogether disappeared.  

"Uh, weird," Kronk commented, looking around. "See, this path was clearly marked on the map and it shows that it goes on for a much longer way, but here it ends like this unlike on the map that was given to us. Maybe the map is a bit...outdated." 

"Gee, you think, Kronk?" Kuzco indulged. 

"Wait, hold on," Pacha held up a hand, staring intently at the map. "If we're here, then the path should continue on this way." He pointed to the left. 

"Are you sure?" Kuzco frowned. He didn't see anything that might have once been a path. 

"Uh, yes," he replied uncertainly. 

"Well," Kronk said, "the only way we can really know now is by trial and error. So we should just follow the map to the best of our abilities now, and if we run into the path again, we'll know." 

"And if we don't?" Kuzco folded his arms. 

"Then we backtrack and try another way," said Kronk. 

"Hm," Kuzco and Pacha exchanged a glance. Then they both shrugged and agreed with Kronk's plan and went with it. They trekked off the blind path, deeper into the dark and dangerous jungle. 

Little did they know that just before the path they turned onto from the main road, a clump of leaves was obscuring the real path that led directly to the paracress plants. Many dangers lay ahead of them, but not quite yet. The real horrors would begin after they made camp at sunset, near a small stream. Pacha lit a small fire as Kronk pitched the tents, and Kuzco sat at the stream thinking hard. Soon enough, he was called over for dinner, but he could only pick at his meal. Afterwards, in the dying twilight, they went to sleep. 


	4. Chapter 4

Kuzco was very hungry when he woke, much to Pacha's pleasure. They ate a large breakfast of eggs and bread and then packed up. Kronk looked around for a squirrel to talk to for information, but there were none around, so they had to make do with the map. Again. 

For the first few hours of their journey, they had no trouble. Kronk scouted ahead and saw nothing, although the down-side to that was that he saw no path, either. If they went back the way they came, they might have seen that they had missed the right one and that they were going in the opposite direction. But this was not the case, and they pushed on. 

Their first obstacle occurred when Kuzco slipped and tumbled down a ravine. He was fine, and was about to call up to his friends when he realized he had fallen into a jaguar nest. That was horrible all on its own, but the situation was worsened when Kronk clumsily fell while trying to help Kuzco out. Of course, the jaguars woke from their naps, and were very angry, as woken jaguars tend to be. They were saved only by Kronk's natural friendliness towards animals.  

"Aw, look at the little fella," he crooned as he tickled a jaguar cub's belly. Kuzco and Pacha, hugging one another tightly with their backs to the cliff wall, exchanged a glance. After Kronk had gotten his fill of playing with the big cats, they moved on, albeit more carefully than before.  

Despite their caution, it wasn't long before they found their path crossed by thick thorns. Kronk managed to find a long sturdy stick and held a few brambles out of the way, but they still came out covered in scratches and were disgruntled. After that, they came to a steep waterfall, and rather than taking the journey down the fall, they climbed down the cliff, but not without a few slips. Just when they thought they had gotten past the worst of it, the trio came across a patch of quicksand.  

"Just great," Kuzco uttered irritably. "See, this is why I should have come by myself." 

"Oh, so you could die out here all along?" Pacha asked sarcastically. 

"No, so none of this would ever happen," Kuzco shot back. 

"Hey," Kronk said, "maybe if we could reach that vine over their and pull ourselves out of this certain doom." He began to stretch for it, wriggling his fingers. He was only a few centimeters away from grabbing it. 

"Well if we hadn't been here, you never would have gotten this far!" Pacha continued. 

"Uh, you don't know that!" Kuzco said. "Gah, I knew this was a waste of time. I should have just gone back to the palace or something." 

Pacha and Kronk looked at the sad emperor a bit guiltily.  

"Don't worry, Kuzco," Pacha offered, putting a hand on Kuzco's shoulder. "We'll get there. We just have to keep moving." 

Kuzco sniffled. "What if we're too late?" 

"Well, let's not dwell on that," Kronk said with a wink. "What do you say we, uh, get out of this trap and find some paracress?" He held up the vine he had finally managed to grab. 

Pacha and Kuzco's faces lit up. Pacha gripped Kronk's free hand, then reached back for Kuzco, who held on tightly. Kronk pulled, muscles bulging, until he was free. Then he released the vine and helped Pacha out, and then Kuzco. Panting, they all exchanged a glanced before giggling in relief. 

"Good job, Kronk," Pacha said, patting the young man on the shoulder. 

* * *

 

I know what you're thinking again. You think that we don't find the paracress in time to save Malina and Iniabi. But that's where you're wrong! You remember that path that we didn't take before that we should have? Well, it just so happens that we come across it! Yeah, that's right. See, everything always works out for the emperor. Okay, back to the story, sorry to interrupt.. 

* * *

 

"Hey, look at this!" Kronk said. 

"It's the path," Pacha exclaimed. "Come on, we're close, according to the map." 

"Woohoo!" Kuzco cheered, following his older buddies. "I knew we were gonna make it!" 

The sun was lowering in the horizon when they finally reached a small clearing. Small flowers with huge leaves bloomed everywhere in the clearing, and a thick sweet smell invaded their nostrils.  

"We're here," Kuzco said emotionally. "We made it!" 

"Okay, grab as much as you can fit in the bags," Pacha said, quickly passing out small brown sacks. The trio went to work, picking both the flower and the leaves and stuffing them into the bags.  

"Ready?" Kronk asked, looking to the other two as he tied his off. 

Pacha and Kuzco nodded. 

"Let's book it," Kronk smirked. 

On the map tucked into Kuzco's belt, red arrows marked their journey back to the palace, this time following the path they should have taken before. Once out of the jungle, the three looked at each other fiercely and then continued onwards, making impossibly quick progress. In a matter of moments, they had reached the palace, not bothering to wonder how they got back so fast. 

"Where's the peasant healer?" Kuzco yelled breathlessly as he entered. "Fetch her! Bring her to our chambers!" 

Several guards scurried off to do the emperor's bidding. 

"This way," Kuzco said to Pacha and Kronk. He led them down endless halls until they came to a large doorway that clearly was the entrance to Kuzco's rooms. They went to the back, where Malina and Iniabi were, and burst in. 

"Kuzco?" Malina asked. "You scared me! What took you so long to get back?" 

"It's okay, I had to go deep into the jungle to get the cure. You'll be fine now, Malina," Kuzco said, hurrying to her side. 

She looked at him, then at Pacha and Kronk. They were covered in scratches and mud. "Um, what cure?" 

Kuzco took Iniabi from her arms and looked down at him lovingly. "It's okay, Daddy's back now," he crooned. 

"Kuzco," Malina said. 

"Hm?" He looked at her expectantly. 

"What cure?" 

"For your sickness," he replied. 

"What?" she scoffed. "Iniabi and I had colds, but we're better now. You've been gone for three days looking for a cure for the common cold?" 

"Huh?" Pacha scoffed in the background. "Kuzco!" 

"What? I didn't know," he replied, looking over his shoulders with raised eyebrows. 

Pacha sighed and put his hand on his brow. "You--you---ugh!" 

"Well, it's a good thing that they're not dying, right?" Kronk said. "I mean, we did go on a dangerous trek through the jungle which was very risky, but we got back all right. And hey, we have the paracress." 

"Um, paracress?" Malina raised an eyebrow. 

"The peasant healer is here!" announced a guard, depositing the ancient woman in the center of the room. 

"You have the paracress?" she asked. 

"Yeah, but we don't need it anymore, thanks," Kuzco said, waving a dismissive hand. 

"Of course you don't need it," the woman scoffed. "You never did. It was for me." 

"Say what?" Kuzco asked. 

"Give it to me," she ordered, and the three men quickly obliged. Iakona opened one and pulled out a leaf, then crumpled it in her palm. "Yes, very nice." She stuffed it into her mouth. "Ahhh, much better," she sighed. "The paracress leaves are excellent for toothaches. I thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be returning." 

Once she had left the room, an astonished Pacha burst out laughing. "Well," he said. 

"Well," Kuzco repeated thoughtfully. Then his eyes trailed down to the baby in his arms. "Hey, Pacha. Isn't my baby the cutest you've ever seen? Much cuter than any of yours." 

Pacha smirked. "Oh, I don't know about that, your highness. Mine are pretty cute." 

"Yeah, but mine's cuter." 

Malina rolled her eyes and met Kronk's happy gaze, contentedly listening to Pacha and Kuzco's bickering. 


End file.
